PINKIE'S NEW CLOTHES
Rainbow Dash slowly opened her eyes. She yawned, stretched and sat up. It was morning now, and the rays of the newly-risen Sun were streaming through the open window, lighting up the room in a way that just seemed so fresh, and new, and exciting. Rainbow Dash leapt out of bed and trotted over to the window, leaning way, way out. She inhaled deeply, taking a good long breath of that fresh morning air. She smiled and sighed. Today was going to be an awesome day.
After her usual breakfast (which she liked to call "Whatever-I-feel-like-on-toast", today consisting of three slices of slightly overdone toast with raspberry jam and peanut butter spread liberally on top, with some swiss cheese thrown in for good measure,) Rainbow went over to mark off her calender, smirking at the picture of Fleetfoot in a sexy pose with the word "MAY" strategically placed. This day just got better and better. As Rainbow reached for a pen, however, something started needling her in the back of her mind. No... it couldn't be, could it? Not today! This day was just too perfect for... Rainbow Dash looked more closely at her calender and groaned fearfully. Aagh! Why did it have to be today?! Today of all days... it just wasn't fair!
Twilight was busy. Specifically, she was busy reading up on the differing internal structure of the pegasus, and how subtle differences in the size and placement of the heart and lungs in turn led to less-than-subtle differences in its mating habits. It was all very fascinating. Twilight was really enjoying herself, but she knew deep down that any second the door would bang open, and it would be Rainbow asking her why she hadn't got the new Daring Do in yet, or Pinkie inviting her to some amazing, fantastic, super-duper party, or Rarity asking for books on classical -
"Rainbow Dash!! Don't sneak up on me like that!!"
"I'm sorry, Twilight..."
"Uh... what's wrong? You seem sorta nervous."
Rainbow Dash shuffled uncomfortably and looked behind her. "H-have you seen Pinkie this morning?"
"No... in fact, I haven't heard a squeak out of her all day!" Twilight paused and considered. "That's unusual." She turned back to the troubled pegasus in front of her. "Were you looking for her?"
"No! Er, actually, I'm trying not to see her... I'm worried about... well..." Rainbow Dash's voice trailed off as she tried to find the right words. "... Well... have you noticed that on every 33rd day, Pinkie does something crazy?"
Twilight stared with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. "Ummm... Rainbow... Pinkie Pie is always crazy."
"I know! I mean, uh, like, EXTRA crazy. Like, really really WEIRD! Like, BIZARRE, even by Pinkie standards!!" Rainbow looked hopefully at Twilight, but if anything, the unicorn was even more confused than before. Twilight scratched her ear as she pondered what had just been said. "So... what you're saying is, every 33rd day she does something utterly, utterly crazy?"
"Yes! Exactly! So, could you, like, turn me invisible or something, because, I'm kinda scared of -"
"How come I haven't noticed this? And how utterly crazy are we talking here?"
"I dunno. I guess you just don't know her as well. And anyway... it varies... a few months before you came to Ponyville, f'rinstance, she... uh..." The cerulean pegasus turned scarlet as she remembered what had transpired on that terrible day. She whispered in Twilight's ear; the purple unicorn turned a lovely shade of crimson.
"Exactly! So, you know how crazy we're talking now, right?"
Before Twilight could reply, the front door opened and somepony stepped through it. "Oh! Hi, Dashie!"
Rainbow Dash, without thinking, turned to greet her friend - but then she froze. She opened her mouth to speak, or scream, or just SOMETHING, but there was only a light escaping of air. Why? Pinkie Pie, pretty pink pony, baker of delicious cupcakes, party thrower extraordinaire, was COMPLETELY NAKED.
Pinkie Pie skipped gleefully up to join her two friends. Then she stopped - something was wrong. She squinted at the two ponies in front of her, slowly taking in Rainbow's slack jaw and Twilight's shrunken pupils. Her face brightened as if a sudden realisation had dawned upon her. She gestured at her nude pink form. "Do you like them?"
It took a few seconds for either pony to respond. Twilight, the first to find her voice, let fly with an explosive "WHAT?!"
Pinkie Pie smiled innocently and repeated her question. "My clothes; do you like them?"
Rainbow Dash was the next to find her voice. "What clothes??"
The pink Earth pony again gestured at herself. "These clothes! I got them from a travelling merchant on the road from Canterlot; he said that they were made of a super-rare ultra-expensive type of cloth which could only be seen by the most cultured and refined of ponies!" She leaned in and lowered her voice, with a knowing grin on her face. "I snapped them up!" She straightened up and gave a little twirl. "You know, it feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!" she chirped. Twilight and Rainbow remained numb.
The front door opened again, and this time a certain white unicorn came through it, arms full of books (many of them long overdue for return.) Rainbow Dash panicked internally. No! Not Rarity! Of all the ponies who could've come through that door, this was the worst possible one! How would Rarity, the most sophisticated, most glamorous (and, well, most stuck-up) pony in all of Ponyville, respond to seeing an indecently exposed mare standing there for everypony to see?! Rarity was sensitive at best, and at worst?? Well... Oh Celestia!! She's looking up! She's going to see...
Rarity's eyes widened and all of the 21 books she was holding slipped from her grasp and fell to the floor. Her pupils dilated as she gasped... but not in horror. "Pinkie Pie!!" She fairly sprinted to the centre of the room to take a closer look. she stopped in front of Pinkie and looked her up and down, in a great state of excitement. "Why, darling! Where did you get that outfit?? It looks simply divine on you!!"
Pinkie Pie blushed and shrugged modestly. "Well..." As she recounted her story, she and an enraptured Rarity strolled out of the library side-by-side. The door softly closed behind them. There was a long, awkward silence.
Rainbow Dash gulped and shuddered. This had been a very strange day indeed, and it wasn't even 11:30 yet. She tried to find words and, finding them, cautiously spoke them out loud. "Now I've seen it all."
Twilight, seeing the humour in the situation, snickered. "In more ways than one," she added mischievously. Rainbow Dash gave her a long, hard look.